Having a family is a dream of every couple. The presence of a baby makes the home lively and jovial. Every day starts with a new excitement and adventure. However, the life becomes a bit monotonous during the initial days. For both new mom and dad, a day is comprised of a typical cycle of feeding, changing, and swaddling.
In amidst of this typical daily routine cycle, sex and romance become a leftover part of a life. Post-baby a happy sex life becomes a dream of every couple, and getting back in the sexual swing of things becomes really too tough.
Before starting it again, it is good to receive a green signal from the doctors. Ideally, a new mom should wait for at least six weeks post-delivery. The postpartum vaginal discharge should stop and stitches should get healed and fine before you restart your sex life.
For a new mom, caring for her baby is the biggest roadblock to feel romantic again. Especially, during the initial days, when a baby usually wakes up in every two to three hours round the clock to get his tummy full suck up a tremendous amount of physical and emotional energy of a mum which makes her feel tired and loss of interest towards the sexual life. This tiredness and fatigue leave her stressed, tired and devoid of any sensation and desire.
For men, who have just become a new dad also gets tired but not to that extent as they need not have breastfed their baby. For them, sex is a way to release stress and tiredness. They feel more good, relaxed and emotionally closer to their partner. Hence, they might be interested in having sex.
Fatigue and stress keep the mum away from the sex life, however, they should talk to their partner about it. It is good if you ask your partner to look after the baby for some time so that you take a good rest for a while. According to the studies, it has been found that the lack of sleep and rest is a big reason behind a dull life.
To renew a sex life after having a baby you may try any of the following ideas:
You can aim for early morning sex.
grab in some good time with your partner when your baby is with some other family member.
Or you can also try a romantic catch when your baby is napping. However, be ready for any 'oops' moment wherein your baby may get awake suddenly when you both are trying to ignite up some good flames.
Body changes in and out after the childbirth. Even the weight which has been gained during pregnancy will take some time to shed into the normal weight. Hence, if you're not feeling good about your looks, then your partner's positive feedback can do a lot of good things. At the same time, start working towards your body goals. Talk to your doctor for a green signal.
If you have undergone with the normal vaginal delivery, then your vaginal walls must have been stretched for the same. Therefore, try some Kegel Exercises to tone your pelvic muscles. It will heal the area after vaginal tears or an episiotomy.
On the other hand, if you have delivered through C-section then, it is good to wait for minimum six weeks to get your internal wounds and stiches healed completely. Any careless activity can put you in risk.
Sometimes, it becomes difficult to resume sex life when you are emotionally uncomfortable. The postpartum depression, anger or the feeling of resentment blocks you emotionally so much that you cannot think about having physical intimacy with your partner. Hence, if you are having an emotional hang-ups which are ruining your happy married life, despite having a little one, then it is good that you should speak to your partner and rely on your partner's support.
To conclude, I would say that happiness and satisfaction are not about how much sex you are having in a particular week or in a month, rather it speaks how much do you both understand each other. Although physical intimacy is a need, it should not be taken as a parameter for a happy married life. After having a baby, priorities get changed, you become more mature and practical. Hence, if you both are fine with not having much sex, then it is all good and OK.