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Writer's pictureSamidha Mathur

What To Do When You Feel Like A Failure


What To Do When You Feel Like A Failure
What To Do When You Feel Like A Failure

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." – Confucius


At some point in life, we all must have felt the bitter taste of failure. ‘I feel like a failure’, or ‘I am a failure’ kind of thoughts come to mind more frequently. Such experience could come from unfulfilled desires, feelings of inferiority, or the weight of personal aspirations. Still, experiencing failure doesn’t mean that your life is standing at the endpoint—it can be a turning point in your life. Let's now understand what failure means, why you must experience it, and finally what to do when you feel like a failure so that perhaps we can write a meaningful tale of our lives.


"Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently." – Henry Ford.


What Defines Failure?

It is quite natural to avoid failures in life. We often skip or avoid doing things that can lead us to failure because such encounters can be embarrassing and depressing. But what exactly is failure? In general, we define failure as a lack of success or an inability to meet an expectation set by us or by society. So, when we fail, we start taking it our self-worth and self-esteem. But we should understand that failure is about results, not our intrinsic worth. 


Failure is temporary, but helps us to change our perspective towards life. We can learn from failure, and do better next time. So, the next time when you think about what to do when you feel like a failure, remember this phase is not going to stay with you forever.


"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts." – Winston Churchill.


How Do You Know If You’re a Failure?


It feels very subjective and personal to be a failure. A few indicative points may be:


  • Constantly doubting one's ability or worth for success.

  • Avoiding challenges due to fear of failing

  • Recognize often comparing yourself to others.

  • Feeling less motivated or feeling hopeless.


Recognizing them may be the first step in transforming and reframing your concept of failure. Remember, these feelings don't define you; they are simply pointers to reassess your mindset and goals.


Why Do I Feel Like a Failure?


There can be some of the reasons behind that feeling of failure.


  • Unrealistic Expectations: Setting goals without a practical plan results in feeling inadequate about shortcomings.

  • Comparison culture: Social media and society do not stop playing out success stories, making one believe they are behind.

  • Perfectionism: The nature of being a perfectionist can lead us to become frustrated with anything that doesn’t give desired results.

  • Past failure: The experience of getting unsatisfactory results can sometimes become imprinted in people's minds forever, and people end up disbelieving in success.


Is It a Bad Thing to Feel Like a Failure?


It is paradoxical, yet learning from failure is helpful. Such experiences get people to reflect on themselves and discover what they should improve on. It makes them set more realistic goals, makes them boost their resilience, or find their motivation to try again.


Real Talk: Most People Feel Like a Failure


It is quite easy to believe that nobody doubts themselves. But the truth is everybody, at some point in time, suffers from self-doubt. Failure is a universal affliction, and it does not matter who you are - a high-achieving professional or an artist. You aren't alone if you embrace the truth.


Things That Make You Feel Like a Failure


Failure to reach uncertain expectations from others

Overly expected goals with undefined steps to accomplishment could lead to disappointment. Instead, set precise achievable milestones that can bring your maximum goals within reach.


Comparison to Others

Constant comparison creates inadequacy. In reality, not many people are on your journey or that of any other person. Slogans and success belonging to others can't measure your success.


Idealizing others

Social media highlights only the achievements of people’s lives, not their struggles. Hence, we we start idealizing others without understanding the complete narrative creating a wrong perspective of life. You start believing a myth that all are happy and content while you’re not. Therefore, learn to appreciate others' success without demeaning yourself.


How to Stop Feeling Like a Failure


Why do I feel like a failure? Or what to do when you feel like a failure? Such questions becomes a big challenge when things do not move as per our expectations. It seems that failure is becoming an identity. But certain ways can help to overcome the feeling of 'I feel like a failure'. 


Keep track of the things you count as a failure.

The process of how not to feel like a failure starts when you start keeping track of your journey. Sometimes we can forget what we have accomplished by getting too caught up on the things that didn't work out. What you feel you have failed at may come out better when you write down things; you start to see patterns. This can be a great habit, clearing how some "failures" may not be of so much attention as you are thinking about them.


Work on Strengthing The Aspect Of Your Life That Makes You Feel Like A Failure

Identify those areas where you might be failing - maybe professionally, or personally, and leading to the thoughts like ‘I am a failure’.Draw a practical strategy that you can take to change the situation. Your confidence will go up and the instances of feeling inadequate will come down in case such aspects improve.


Observe the Good

It’s easy to ignore the good when you’re focussing too much on your failure. Remember to highlight the positive things in your life and the progress you’re making. Even small steps towards your victory contribute to a greater sense of self-worth.

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine—and shadows will fall behind you." – Walt Whitman


Compare yourself to your past self

When the question - what to do when you feel like a failure stuck up, think about your past self, the better version of you. Stop comparing yourself with the people who are not related to you. Admiring someone is different but when you start comparing your life with others, frustration comes in. Start growing as an individual and understand how far you have come using your potential. 


Overcoming your fears of failure

Sometimes, the fear of failure stops the mind from taking risks. But to grow, one should push through this fear. Challenge yourself to go out of your comfort zone. But growth cannot be achieved without pushing away such fear. Engage yourself, and force yourself to come out of your comfort zone. Every risk taken is worth the experience, no matter which way it swings. 


Treat your failures as learning opportunities

You may treat your life’s setbacks as point-negative but they are stepping stones rather than roadblocks. Failure is often masked as a worthwhile lesson. So when you think ‘I am a failure’, ask yourself: What do I learn from this? Framing the failure as an experience to learn from, makes you even more resilient and better prepared for the next time.


“Failure is a bruise, not a tattoo." – Jon Sinclair


Final Thoughts:


Feeling like a failure is common, but it is a helpful part of life. Embracing these setbacks, learning from them, and developing resilience will further help you grow stronger and more determined. Remember, failure is not your identity, rather it shapes you better for your future. Each failure is an opportunity to learn, adapt, and grow. 

As you continue on your journey, always remember: “It’s not how far you fall, but how high you bounce that counts.”


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