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How to help a friend who is abused?

A friend in a need is a friend indeed.

A real friend is someone who helps his or her friend in the most difficult time. A difficult time is not always any financial loss or any requirement of physical help. Rather, it can be a time when your friend needs your emotional support. It can a situation when your friend is unable to express her emotional stress or mental trauma but at the same time, she expects you to understand everything so that you can help. Domestic Abuse is the name of such a situation. Here, the victim cannot express his or her feelings but seeks for immediate help.

Domestic Abuse is not only physical abuse but it is a mental trauma given by an abuser to a victim. In this case, an abuser tries to gain power or control over the victim by any sort of means, including sexual and physical. This sort of abuse is usually been seen in a marital relationship where one partner wants to gain more power over his or her spouse, but domestic abuse has also been observed in the case of family members and caregivers.

Global estimates published by WHO indicate that about 1 in 3 (35%) of women worldwide have experienced either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence in their lifetime.

For more shocking facts on Domestic Abuse, please read the fact sheet published by WHO.

What is your role in helping your friend who is a victim of domestic abuse?

If you think that your friend or any family member is a victim of domestic abuse and needs your immediate help, then, first of all, talk to him/her and listen to them actively. Alongside, there are some other ways too which you can adapt to help your friend:

1. Let your friend feel that you're concerned about his/her safety

We, humans, are blessed with an extraordinary sense, which we call it a 'feel'. A human touch or feel cannot be substituted by any other thing. A person who is being traumatized every day for every other silly reason needs your only caring concern. Therefore, let your friend feel that you are here to help because you are concerned about his/her safety. Be generous to your friend, listen to him/her actively and try to understand his/her situation.

2. Do not place blame, shame or guilt

While listening to your friend's condition, do not blame or shame him/her for the situation. No one wants to get intentionally abused. It is just because the situation has crossed its limit therefore, one is suffering. Hence, support your friend emotionally, and try to bring out a solution for this unwanted situation in a best post possible way.

3. Report the incidence to the concerned organization/police

A good help can be of taking the support of the police and the other supportive organization who deals in such issues. A proper guidance and support from these organizations and legal departments will help your friend to come out of this web more easily and conveniently as the people who work in such organizations have better knowledge and expertise in handling such situations.

4. Give her/him an assurance that you will be there to support in every difficult time

To restart a new life is not at all an easy job. It requires ample courage and support from the loved ones. Hence, assure your friend that you are going to leave him/her alone and going to be there with him/her in every possible manner.

Sometimes, life shows its flip side. It becomes difficult to lead a happy life. And when it is a matter of abuse, it shows like a dead end! But when a life is blessed with some good friends, a flipper side also seems to be easy. The only thing to remember is DO NOT LOSE YOUR HOPE and BE STRONG.

Help your Friend, Help Yourself!

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Samidha Mathur
Samidha Mathur
Apr 17, 2019

Yes, there are certain organisation for such issues. One of them is National Commission for Women which handles the cases of both men and women. The emergency numbers are 1091 is dedicated for the same purpose in India.


Inspire99 Info
Inspire99 Info
Apr 17, 2019

A thought provoking piece. Abuse often goes unnoticed because most of them are afraid to make a complaint. It is a more prevalent problem than it appears from the outset. Bullying often tends to happen more at home and escapes. I almost wonder if there was a confidential service to which one could text or seek help from to get out of abuse. Perhaps that will help police abuse to an extent and also provide a vent for people going through it.

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